I have discovered that my wife had an affair with my younger brother whom I had brought up after the death of our father. When my wife admitted that to me, I thought I better try to remedy the situation wisely. I arranged for my brother to get married within a few days. Now both of them seem to have repented their past errors. I am not sure what I should do with my wife. Perhaps I should add that I am very much attached to my wife and my brother. I have two children by my wife, but I am not sure whether I should retain or divorce her.
Families do not realize how close to ruin they come when relationships become so intimate between people whose relations must maintain a high standard of propriety and morality. Most probably the situation developed between your wife and your younger brother after a period of time during which they became more and more familiar with each other. Perhaps that took place in your presence, without any of you thinking that such an intimate relationship could lead to anything wrong. Human experience, however, proves that unwarranted intimacy, especially between young people, could lead to excesses that cannot be sanctioned by Islam. If you try to put your finger on the cause for any such intimate relationship going wrong and leading to an affair between one’s wife and a very close relative, you will find that the reason is invariably that they first become too familiar with each other. It is highly important, therefore, to maintain an Islamic standard of propriety and observe Islamic moral values in order to guard against any such situation.
You speak of loving your brother so much. You also say that this is a reciprocal feeling. His love for you, however, did not prevent him from doing wrong to you. Therefore, you have to consider your future situation. The fact that you have arranged his marriage is a step in the right direction. The next step is that he and his wife should live in a home of his own, away from you. That should lessen the chances of him resuming any intimate relationship with your wife.
As far as your wife is concerned, you have to look at the situation very carefully indeed. You appear to wish to save your marriage, but you wish to be guided by Islam. That is fair enough. If you feel that your wife has realized the enormity of her mistake and that she has genuinely regretted what she did, and that she intends never to do the same mistake again, then you may retain her. You have also to guard against any new temptation for a similar error. One way of doing that is by trying to give a better Islamic education. When she learns how Islam views these matters and what is required of a Muslim woman, and when she realizes that she has to seek God’s forgiveness for her past errors, she may have the right motivation to maintain an Islamically acceptable behavior. When she acquires such an education, she will be able to bring up your children in a way that serves their future better. She will certainly be a better mother to them.
Having said that, I must emphasize that you need to look at your situation very carefully. If you think that her relationship with your brother was not the sort of a single slip, which will always be regretted, but that it might be repeated at any time the temptation occurs, then it is better for you and for your children to divorce your wife now. It is true that the children will suffer as a result, but their suffering will be much less than if their mother’s behavior is of the sort you have described. I pray to God to guide you to choose what is best for yourself, your children and your family. ~
I have an insurance policy for fifteen years, which has six years still to mature. The policy stipulates that the insurance company will pay a specific sum of money to my family in case of my death, and covers for accidental damage during this period. If I am still alive on the date of maturity, the insurance company pays back all my premiums with profits, but it does not repay the portion of premiums which covers me for accidental damage. I am not aware how the insurance company invests its money. Recently I was told that life insurance is not acceptable in Islam. For that reason my question to you as I like to live within Islamic law.
Various articles on insurance have been published and I felt that I conveyed most aspects of this important topic. I explained my view that insurance is acceptable in Islam, including life insurance. I have made it clear that I have arrived at this conclusion after discussing this subject at length with a number of authorities on Islamic Fiqah and reading extensively on this subject. Now I have no doubt in my mind that for an individual to take an insurance policy on his life, or his business, or his house is perfectly acceptable from the Islamic point of view. I know that many scholars will give a different ruling, but I am certain that an increasing number of scholars tend to accept insurance as legitimate once they are aware of all of its implications.
The type of policy you have described in called life policy or endowment policy with profits. In principle, the policy is perfectly acceptable, but you have to make sure how the insurance company invests its money. If you find out that the company invests the premiums it receives from its clients in usurious dealings, such as lending the money out on interest, then you should not take the profits for yourself, but put them to charitable uses.
On the other hand, if the company invests its premium in acceptable business, such as property market, or shares and bonds or legitimate business, then you may take the profits and use them for the betterment of your family. There is no need to cancel the policy. ~
Some people object to my work as an insurance agent, claiming that Muslims should place all their trust in God alone. I believe that God only helps those who help themselves. May I ask whether I must quit my job?
My objection is not to your work but to the way you speak about God. Of course God will replace any stolen or destroyed article and compensate for any loss a human being may suffer, if He so wishes. He will certainly not act in the way an insurance company acts, buying a new car for a person or dropping him a check through letterbox, but He will facilitate the means to have a replacement, or even something much better, whenever He pleases to do so. There is no restriction on what God may do. He is able to do whatever He wants whenever He wishes, and the way He pleases.
Nor is it correct to say that God only helps those who help themselves. This is a form of expression that must not be taken literally. God’s help is extended to all His servants, all the time. Even those who do not try to help themselves enjoy God’s blessings and receive His grace. This is indeed experienced by all of us at all times. Even when we go through the most miserable of difficult streaks in our lives,
God’s help is always available. Even the most miserable human will find so much to thank God for, if only he would reflect on the blessings he has been given. But that expression refers in a rather un-Islamic way to a principle, which is endorsed by Islam. Man should work and try to improve his situation. If he does his best, trusting to God’s help, then that help would be forthcoming. People who remain idle are less likely to receive God’s help.
I have explained on various occasions that insurance, including life insurance, is permissible. Therefore, there is no objection to taking up employment as an insurance agent. However, such an agent should observe Islamic values in his work, and not try to sell his policies through the manipulating tactics of the salesmen who are keen to paint a very rosy picture of the article or the service they are selling, without pointing out the shortcomings or defects that may influence their prospective customers’ opinions.