My daughter keeps asking me about the Hadith that women are deficient in mental ability and in religion. Could you please explain it? Why does the Prophet, peace be upon him, say that most women will be in hell?
Your daughter is not alone. Many are those who question the meaning it conveys. This is largely due to the fact that the Hadith is quoted only in part and the relevant statement is cited out of context. People always attribute to the Prophet, peace be upon him, the suggestion that women are inferior to men on grounds of a deficient mind a lack of faith. This is far from true.
Let us look at the Hadith in full: “On the occasion of Eid, either that of sacrifice or that of ending the fast, the Prophet, peace be upon him, went to the prayer place, and then went to speak to women and he said: “Ladies! I have not seen people deficient in mind and religion yet can get away with a rational man’s mind like any one of you.” They asked: “How are we deficient in mind and religion, Messenger of God?” He said: “Is it not true that a woman’s testimony counts as half that of a man?” When they answered in the affirmative, he said: “This is her mental deficiency. Is it not true that when a woman is in her period she neither prays nor fasts?” They again answered in the affirmative. He said: “This is her religious deficiency.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
To start with, the Prophet, peace be upon him, was speaking to a congregation of women on a joyous occasion. Exemplary in his care for others, particularly his companions, and kind and compassionate as he was, it is inconceivable that he would insult them by such a statement, if he meant it as a statement of fact, like some of us do. The Prophet, peace be upon him, simply used this phrase “deficient in mind and religion” to alert them to what he wanted to say to them. The Prophet, peace be upon him, frequently uses such a method, inserting some words that may not be relevant to the point he wants to stress, so that they serve to attract the attention of his audience. Furthermore, his statement expresses amazement at a well-known situation, when a man is infatuated by a woman to the extent that his behavior changes in character. He may be wise and intelligent, yet he could easily behave in a way that is inconsistent with his intelligence and wisdom when he is so infatuated. This is a case where a woman who is generally weaker than a man can control him.
The Hadith mentions that the Prophet’s women audience asked him to clarify what he said. His clarification pinpoints certain aspects that suggest no inferiority whatsoever. The mental deficiency is related to the fact that in certain cases, two women witnesses are required in place of one-man witness. This has to do with the role of each of the two sexes in Islamic society. It is no reflection on a woman’s mental ability. As for religious deficiency, the Prophet, peace be upon him, states the fact that a woman is exempt from prayer and fasting when she is in menstruation. While God gives a woman the reward for prayer and fasting as if she has done them, since she stops only because of her condition and in response to God’s orders, still the fact that she does not fulfill these duties means that her worship is less in terms of what she offers. It does not mean that she is a lesser believer.
As for a relevant statement of fact in this regard, the Prophet, peace be upon him, says, “Women are full sisters of men.” In the Arabic text, the Prophet, peace be upon him, uses here a word, which implies total similarity and equivalence. Hence, the Prophet’s statement suggests no inferiority attached to women. The Qur’an and the Sunnah assign the same duties to both men and women, and promise them the same reward. If this does not mean the same status, I would like to know what does.
May I add here that the translation of this Hadith as quoted by you is wrong, because it splits the relevant sentence and gives the Prophet's words in such a way that they appear to make a statement of fact. This is wrong, as I have explained.
As for the other part, a full translation of it goes as follows: “‚I have seen hell and I have never seen any thing more horrific than what I saw then. I also saw that the majority of its dwellers are women. ‚ They asked: “On what grounds, Messenger of God? He said: “By their denial.‚ They said: “Their denial of God?‚ He answered: “No. Their denial of their spouses and their denial of kindness. You may be kind to one of them all the time, but when she finds fault with you she says: I have never received any kindness from you. ‚”
To start with, the Hadith does not say that most women are in hell. It says that the majority of hell dwellers are women, which simply signifies that more women fail in this worldly test than men. Then the Prophet, peace be upon him, points out their failure, which is not based on denying God. Rather, it is denying kindness, particularly in marital situations. The Prophet, peace be upon him, has pointed this out in more than one Hadith, warning women against grumbling and frequent complaints. He is also warning them here against denying kindness by their husbands, highlighting a failing that is often expressed in denying past kindness.
The Hadith shows that women can easily avoid such a destiny by being fair and appreciative of kindness. They should always be grateful to God for what He has given them and also be appreciative of any kindness done to them by others, particularly those with whom they live, be they their husbands, parents or other relatives.
How should a Muslim woman appear before another woman, and which parts of her body must she cover?
The Islamic term ‘awrah’ denotes those parts of the body, which are required to be covered when a person is not alone. When we speak of men, the awrah, which should be covered extends, according to many scholars, from the waistline to knees. The knee itself is not part of it. However, other scholars, most prominent among whom are Imam ibn Hazm and Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, limit the awrah between men to the essential organs and the arms. Judging by the evidence supporting these two views, I am more in favor of the latter one, which limits the awrah to the private parts.
Between women when they are alone, the same ruling applies. There is no difference with regard to the permissibility of looking at another person, between two Muslim women and one Muslim woman and one who follows another religion. This is in the same way as there is no difference between two Muslim men and one Muslim man and another that is a non-Muslim.
Imam Ahmad says, “Some people say that a Muslim woman should not take off her headdress when she is with a Jewish or Christian woman. My view is that she does not look at her genitals and she does not act as her midwife when she gives birth.”
This is indeed the correct view because women who were non-believers, such as Jewish women, used to come to the Prophet’s wives and see them. The Prophet’s wives did not cover their heads when they met them and were not ordered to do so.
Could you please explain how a woman should conduct herself with her Mahrems. Could she shake hands with them, kiss or hug a Mahrem and appear in front of him without her head covering? Could you also explain who are the Mahrems, and whether cousins could be considered in this category?
Mahrems are those close relatives that a woman may not marry, such as her father, son, nephew, uncle, etc. Certainly cousins are not y, even though they may be very close as in the case of cousins of similar age who live in the same house. With such Mahrems a woman conducts herself as people normally do at home. Of course a woman need not put on her head covering in front of her brothers, uncles or nephews, let alone her father or grandfather. She may shake hands with any of these, and be close to them.
It is authentically reported that when Fatimah, the Prophet’s daughter visited him, he would stand up to greet her, kiss her and sit her in his place. When he visited her, she would do the same, rising to meet him and kissing him. This was done on a regular basis and in front of people. The Hadith mentioning this is reported by Ayesha, in phraseology that suggests a habit rather than a one-off occasion.
When we speak about relatives whom a woman may not marry, her father-in-law and stepson come in this category. However, a woman should conduct herself differently with these. While she need not wear her scarf in front of her adult stepson or her father-in-law, she should be careful about being too familiar or liberal. The Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked about in-laws relations, and he described it as “death‚. What he means is that when things are allowed to go out of hand in such a relationship, this could spell a ruinous atmosphere that kills family relations. The same applies to a man with his mother-in-law, her daughters and his adult stepdaughter. Caution must be the guide in dealing with them. Where there is no chance that things could go wrong, one may be more relaxed. Otherwise, we should be careful.