Charity: Only an Intention or a Pledge Not Fulfilled

When I came here, I intended to give 2-month salary for charity, including a contribution to the building of a mosque in my village. On arrival, I discovered that I was cheated and I had to accept a salary of about one half of what I was promised. Despite the passage of several years, I have not fulfilled that intention. I want to do so now, but which salary it should be: the one promised, or the actual one, or my present salary, which is higher than both?

If this was a mere intention, then you are free to act on it or not. If you do, you receive God's generous reward; and if you do not, you deprive yourself of that reward. Hence, it is infinitely better to do so. If you find it difficult, then do as much of it as you can, without putting yourself to hardship.

On the other hand, if this was a pledge, which means a firm promise made to God, then it becomes a duty and must be fulfilled. It should be put into effect as soon as possible. The promised salary, which was not paid at the time, is not the one to be used. What is due is the actual salary you started with. However, since you have delayed it so long, if you pay more, it is better. The more you pay, the greater is your reward.

Charity: When They Turn Ungrateful

We have two close relatives who are of limited means. We have been helping them regularly. Recently, however, we stopped giving them assistance because we learned that they were speaking ill of us. The point is that we would like to help them, but they seem to be extremely ungrateful. Are we supposed to continue to support them when they meet our generosity with ungratefulness? Is it possible to give Zakah money to an elder brother, to help him marry off his daughters?

To be kind to relatives is one of the essential requirements of Islamic manners. Islam stresses the need to foster ties of kinship in all sorts of ways. If one is of reasonable means and has close relatives, who suffered poverty, then the best way to strengthen one's ties with such relatives is to help them financially. Richer relatives may be given gifts or may be visited every now and then in order to maintain a good relationship with them. With such an attitude, the normal response is to be grateful. Relatives who are visited are bound to be appreciative and those who receive gifts are bound to be thankful.

However, at times, you will find a relation who is ungrateful. This normally comes out of an attitude, which considers that receiving help from richer relatives is owing to one by right. Hence, any help which one receives is considered meager. Consequently, thanks which are due to the giver are substituted by gestures of ingratitude. What should be one's attitude in such a case?

The perfect answer comes from an authentic Hadith related by Muslim, Ahmad and others on the authority of Abu Hurairah who reports as follows. "A man came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: Messenger of God, I have relatives whose kinship I try to foster while they never. I make one good turn after another toward them when they reply with bad turns. They speak ill of me and I take an attitude of forbearance. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said; "If what you say is true, it is as if you compel them to eat burning ashes. You will continue to have God's support against them as long as you continue with your attitude."

You appear to have had a similar experience to that of the man, who put the case to the Prophet, peace be upon him. As you see, the Prophet, peace be upon him, did not tell him to stop extending kind treatment to his relatives, despite their ingratitude. In fact, he recommends him to continue with his kind gestures. He consoles him, however, that their attitude is like one who is forced to eat burning ashes. Perhaps nothing is more painful to eat than that. One can imagine that it is very easy to choke when one tried to swallow ashes, which have cooled down. To try to eat burning ashes is far worse, in addition to its being extremely painful. The Prophet, peace be upon him, describes their attitude as such because they do not appreciate kind gestures. He further assures the man that he has God's support against his relatives if he continues with his attitude, trying always to maintain a good relationship with them and foster his ties of kinship, while they return his good gestures with bad ones.

A poor relative of Abu Bakr who used to receive regular financial support from him was once involved in spreading rumors against Abu Baker's daughter which was absolutely false. Abu Bakr decided to stop his financial support. God revealed a verse in the Qur'an, which encourages Abu Bakr and people like him to continue their kindness to their poor relatives. He puts to them the rhetoric question. "Do you not love that God should forgive you?" When Abu Bakr heard this verse he said: 'I indeed love that God forgives me." He immediately reinstated his grant to his poor relative.

From all this, you realize that despite the wrong attitude of your two brothers, it is far better for you and more rewarding to continue to help them. Perhaps this is the best way to silence them. As for payment of your Zakah to them, it is possible to do so, if either of them qualifies a beneficiary of Zakah on account of being poor. You do not give him your Zakah in order to help him marrying of his daughters. This is not among the uses of Zakah money. ~

Charms: Wearing Black Threads

Could you please explain whether wearing black threads around one's wrist or neck is permissible. Normally, some Qur'anic verses are read and blown on these threads to make them effective.

This is just another form of a charm or a talisman. All such articles are forbidden to wear. The Prophet, peace be upon him, describes them as a form of shirk, which means associating partners with God. As such, they are very strictly forbidden. Indeed, the Prophet, peace be upon him, has prayed to God not to grant the wishes for which a person wears such articles. So, they are self-defeating as well.

From another point of view, the Qur'an has been revealed so that we treat it as a code of living and implement it in our lives. It is meant neither for enchantment, nor for watch guard duties to protect us against physical harm. The Qur'an will certainly protect us against much more than physical harm if we learn its message and implement it in our lives. It will give us guidance that ensures that we do not go astray. But this requires a proper approach to the Qur'an, which is God's guidance to mankind.

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