A mother-n-law is considered like a man’s own mother in Islamic law. One may treat her the way one treats one’s own mother. If a person divorces his wife, does this relationship change?
When a person marries a woman, the mother of his wife becomes forbidden for him to marry. This prohibition is permanent once the marriage contract is made. There is no way the prohibition can be lifted at any time. However, one does not behave with his mother-in-law as he behaves with his own mother, with regard to what she may reveal of her body in front of him, or what he may touch of her.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, has warned that being too familiar with the women folk of the wife’s family may lead to regrettable consequences. He says that being too casual or informal with one’s "in-laws is like death." Hence, a Muslim must maintain a relationship based on respect, friendliness and mutual care with his wife’s family, but he must also observe the Islamic rules of propriety and decency in that relationship. He may, for example, shake hands with his mother-in-law, but he must not kiss her or let her kiss him, like his own mother may kiss him. The relationship is different.
A relationship that is created by marriage is not the same as one based on blood. Hence, when people exceed the limits of propriety and decency, they may land themselves in trouble that affects their close relatives.
Hence one must be careful in his approach to his relationship with his wife’s mother and sisters, as well as her other relatives. The same applies to woman’s relationship with her husband’s male relatives.
• Innovations: Good practices!
What exactly is bid’at? I have come across a Hadith, which states that "Every innovation is an error". If this is true then how do we justify the compilation of the Qur’an by Abu Bakr and Osman, the introduction of a phrase in the call to prayers, or the congregational taraweeh prayer by Omer? In our country, it is customary that people read the Qur’an when a person is dying, especially Surah Ya’seen, but I met someone who says that this is an innovation. Is this true?
A bid’at is an innovation. When it is in a matter related to our worldly affairs, it is judged on it usefulness or otherwise. When it is in a matter of religion, then it is judged on its basis. We know for certain that God has made the religion of Islam complete and perfect. It is not possible; then, that we may introduce in it something that has no basis in it. This applies particularly to matters of worship, as they do not change as a result of changing circumstances or different societies.
Hence, the Hadith, which you have mentioned, applies to worship in particular and to faith in general. We have another Hadith, which makes it clear that anything that may be invented in matters of religion is unacceptable. The Prophet, peace be upon him, says: "He who innovated something in this matter of ours that is not of it will have it rejected." That is because what God has made perfect cannot be made more perfect by adding or deletion.
Where we cannot invent anything, or innovate in what he did or taught, is to add to what the Prophet, peace be upon him, did, or to leave it incomplete. For example, he has taught us to offer Friday prayer in a particular way. We cannot do a similar prayer on Monday. If we do, we will be like one who says that God has given us a certain duty, but we can improve upon it. Far be it from us to suggest anything like that. Certainly any innovation of this sort is an error, and it leads to God’s displeasure.
Now if we look at the examples you have mentioned, we do not find in them anything that is intended to add to, or diminish from, what the Prophet, peace be upon him, did or ordered. Abu Bakr compiled the Qur’an in one complete reference copy. This action was intended to preserve the Qur’an as a complete whole, so that people will have a reference to check their copies and their memorization. He only did so when he realized that the Prophet’s companions had memorized the whole of the Qur’an began to die in numbers in the various battles the Muslim state had to fight. The same idea was carried further by Osman who compiled six copies so that each major city in the Muslim State would have an easy access to their reference copy.
The taraweeh prayer was recommended by the Prophet, peace be upon him, who offered it on three consecutive days in his mosque, first on his own, then on the following day with a group of people, then with a larger congregation. The fourth day the mosque was full with people waiting for him, but he did not come out. He said that he did not wish to come out for that prayer regularly so that it would not become obligatory. What Mar did was to look in the mosque one day when he found several congregations offering the prayer at the same time.
He appointed Ubai ibn Kaab, one of the Prophet’s companions whose recitation of the Qur’an was among the best, to lead a single congregation. That it the proper Islamic practice, because Islam does not allow two congregations at the same place at the same time. Omer invented nothing. He did not start a new prayer. He only organized the way it is offered so that it became in line with Islamic principles.
It is recommended to sit close to the bed of a dying person and try to remind him to say the kalimah, or the declaration of believing in the Oneness of God. There are some Hadiths which encourage reciting Surah Ya’seen by his side, but these Hadiths are not very authentic.
Therefore, if we do this recitation, we are not inventing anything. We are acting on the basis of a Hadith, which, if it is not true, does not encourage anything which is contrary to what Islam teaches. Imam Ahmad, who was among the greatest authorities of Hadiths, says: "If Ya’seen is recited at the time of death, the ordeal is lightened for the dying person." It is not recommended that a group of people should gather, with each reading a portion of the Qur’an for the dead person, in order to finish it all. Any passage of the Qur’an or Surah may be read at any time by a close relative who may pray God to credit the reward of the recitation to the deceased person. That is more in line with Islamic teachings.
• Innovations: Innovators, the followers and repentance
Does an innovator or a follower of innovations who dies without having repented incur the punishment of hell forever? Is there any possibility of redemption for him? May I also ask why the Prophet's night journey of Sha'ban, i.e. bar’at, is not celebrated in the Kingdom?
Much depends on the intention behind any such action. If such a person sets out to invent something and presents it as a religious practice, he does something seriously wrong. That is because he either feels that the religion of Islam lacks something which his action provides, or there is a fault with Islam and he is remedying it. In other words, he sets himself to improve on what God has devised and may put himself in such a position with regard to the religion of Islam. Some people may not think in this way when they invent some sort of religious practice.
Let us give a fictitious example and imagine someone encouraging people to say certain phrases of God's glorification at a particular time every night after Isha, while seated in a particular position, placing in front of them certain type of food and drink. He tells them to eat the food and to drink before they go to bed. Now if you take each section of this on its own, you find it permissible. But when you combine it all and claim that it is part of the religious practices of Islam, you are inventing something in the religion of Islam which is not sanctioned by God and His messenger.
That is an innovation which is totally unacceptable. The Prophet, peace be upon him, says: "Whoever invents in this matter [religion] of ours something that does not belong to it, he shall have it rejected."
If this person suggests that he only wants to get people to glorify God more frequently, or if he claims that he has chosen this particular time because he has noticed that people tend to do something against the teachings of Islam around this time, and by introducing this practice he only hopes to give them something more in line with Islam, we tell him that his argument is futile. His practice remains wrong because he is practically saying that through what is revealed by God and taught by the Prophet, peace be upon him, Islam cannot cope properly with a certain need and that this method complements it.
In short, no one may add to what the Prophet, peace be upon him, has taught. No innovation is acceptable. We are talking here about matters of religion. Of course, things may change from time to time and from one community to another. In their dealings with their life affairs, people may have a large area of free choice. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as they keep within the framework of Islam.
The same applies to the middle night of Sha'ban, which is called in some parts of the world as the night of bar’at. We do well to study the significance of the Prophet's night journey, but this need not be at any particular time or as part of a celebration or commemoration.
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