There are differences between khula' and divorce. One is that the waiting period of the woman lasts only until she has had one menstruation period, to make sure that she is not pregnant. Secondly, her husband does not have a right to reinstate marriage during her waiting period. Thirdly, in divorce, she is entitled to have all her dower, because the divorce is initiated by the man who had paid the dower.

Whereas in khula' she has to pay something to her husband. This is fair because the dower, or mahr, is paid by the husband to the wife in return for a gain or benefit he receives as a result of the marriage. When the marriage is terminated at the wife's request, then that benefit or gain is no longer there. He becomes entitled to compensation. In the case mentioned in the Hadith, the compensation was a refund of the dower itself. It is open to the man and his wife to agree on a lesser compensation. Most scholars agree that the compensation may be more than the dower itself, but same scholars say that this is not permitted.

As you see, if the woman does not have something to compensate her husband for the termination of the marriage, then she is asking him to forgo the benefit he receives from the marriage for nothing. All scholars would advise such a man to look at the situation carefully. If his wife wants the termination because she is really unhappy and he can forgo his right to compensation, then he is recommended to do so. If he insists on having compensation, then no blame may be attached to him. She may be helped by her relatives or by the community. This is only fair. A man who does not have anything to give as a dower is not offended if people refuse to accept his proposals for marriage. Similarly, a woman that cannot compensate her husband for what he loses as a result of the termination of marriage cannot feel aggrieved if he refuses. But in these matters, we are recommended to show forbearance and kindness to others. Even though we may be unhappy with termination of the marriage, as a community we should look into helping her.

What is required in Khula' is a clear desire by the wife to terminate her marriage, and her express willingness to repay her husband what he had given her in dower. It is a procedure which needs the agreement of both husband and wife, but if the husband will not respond, the judge may impose the termination of marriage on him. When a verdict of Khula' is granted, the woman is mistress of her own future. Her husband does not have any right to reinstate the marriage, as a divorcing husband has in the waiting period. She has to make sure that she is not pregnant by observing a waiting period lasting until she has had one period of menstruation.

There are three basic differences between divorce and Khula' as methods of terminating a marriage. In divorce, 1) the husband has the right to reinstate the marriage, during the waiting period, if it is a first- or second-time divorce, 2) it counts toward the third divorce when there can be no remarriage between the divorcing couple unless the woman first marries someone else, and 3) the waiting period extends for three menstruation. In Khula' the husband has no right of reinstatement, and the waiting period is only for one menstruation, and it does not count as a divorce. In other words, if a man had divorced his wife twice and remarried her on both occasions, then she left him through a Khula', they can remarry without need for her to be married to someone else first.

This last point answers the question of our reader. If he feels that a remarriage with his former wife is wise, then he may go ahead and start marriage proceedings. He will have the same process as any other marriage. He needs a fresh marriage contract and will need to pay her a dower. The contract is the same as every marriage contract, consisting of a commitment and acceptance in front of a minimum of two witnesses.