• Marriage: With stepmother's relatives
Is it permissible for a Muslim to marry the sister of his father's second wife? Needless to say, the man is the son of his father's first wife. May I add that people in our area have spoken much about this proposed marriage with some of them opposing it while others saying that it is perfectly in order. Please advise.
Any woman who gets married to one's father is forbidden for that person to marry, whether her marriage to his father ends up in divorce or is terminated by his father's death. The prohibition on the marriage of a Muslim with his stepmother is permanent. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Do not marry women whom your fathers have previously married — although what is passed is passed. Indeed, this is a shameful deed, and a harmful thing, and an evil way." (4:22).
A stepmother is related to a person by the fact that she gets married to his father. That is sufficient to make her forbidden for him to marry after her marriage to his father is terminated. However, her relatives are not related to him in any way. Therefore, it is perfectly permissible for a Muslim to marry his stepmother's sister or daughter [who is not by your father] or any other relative of hers. [When we talk of a stepmother, we exclude any person who is your aunt prior to her marrying your father.] If you wish to know the women a Muslim is not allowed to marry, you need only refer to Verses 22-24 of Surah 4, entitled "Women". Apart from these, you are not allowed to marry women who are in the same relationship to you as this list, if this relationship is created by your being breast-fed by a woman other than your mother. You may not marry that woman because she is your mother through breast feeding, and similarly her daughters and sisters are your sisters and aunts respectively. You need to extend this relationship to other women and you have a full list of those you may not marry because they relate to you through breast feeding. In addition, a Muslim may not marry a woman whom he had [permanently] divorced three times unless she gets married to someone else in the normal way and her marriage is subsequently terminated by her husband's death or her being divorced in a perfectly normal way.
• Marriage: Without parental consent — a question of validityA father working away from home receives a letter from his wife informing him that their 17-year-old daughter has married a man who persuaded her that by so doing they can ensure that no one can ever interfere with their marriage. Only one of the man's friends and several women were present. The girl was on her own, without any relative accompanying her. Please advise on the validity or otherwise of this marriage.
The girl in question has committed a grave mistake by agreeing to go into a marriage contract without the presence of her father or guardian. Islam takes a very serious view of marriage, because it is an alliance that legalizes an intimate relationship between sexes and leads to the establishment of a family and the birth and upbringing of children. In recognition of the woman's position and honor, Islam requires that she be represented by her father or, in his absence, by her guardian, when the marriage contract is made. Most scholars, including the Shaf'ie, Maliki and Hanbali schools of thought consider the presence of the woman's father or guardian to act on her behalf as essential for the validity of the marriage. They say that a woman may not act for herself in marriage contracts. Only the Hanafi school of thought allows a woman to act on her own behalf in marriage. I do not propose to discuss this difference between schools of thought on this point. I will only say that each of the two points of view is based on valid arguments. We cannot dismiss either as mistaken or incorrect. We may take whichever ensures the interest of the individuals and the family in question, approaching the whole matter in the seriousness it deserves. You say that nothing has taken place between the man and the girl since they have taken this step which they hoped to prevent any opposition to their marriage by their respective families.
If the case is so, then no material harm has resulted from their rash action. In this case we take the view of the majority of scholars and consider the marriage to be null and void. In doing so we rely on solid basis, as the Prophet, peace be upon him, says: "No marriage contract may be made without a guardian and two witnesses." However, the girl and the man should be made to understand that what they did is of no consequence and their marriage is of no value.
The girl's father may wish to consider going to court to have an order declaring the marriage as null and void. This may be necessary if the man in question has registered the marriage, or if he may contemplate putting it into effect, particularly if he is in a country where the Hanafi school of thought is predominant.
At the same time the girl's father will be well advised to take an objective view of the whole matter. The man may have good qualities to make him a good husband. He may have been misguided in this particular situation, but on the whole he may be a good person. Had he chosen the proper way of approaching the girl's family, he might have been accepted as a husband. If so, the girl's father may wish to go ahead and approve the marriage. What he should do in this case is to start at the beginning, considering what his daughter did with this man as not having taken place.
This means that the marriage arrangements should start anew and a formal marriage contract should be made, with the father acting on behalf of his daughter. On the other hand, if the girl and the man have already given effect to what they had done and consummated their marriage, then we take the view of the Hanafi school of thought.
As I have said, this view also has a valid argument. The practical steps which need to be taken depend on the local conditions and circumstances. However, what we have here is a marriage that was done in private and now needs to be publicized. The father may wish to have the marriage officially registered and perhaps organize a wedding reception for his daughter. What is important to consider here is the interest of the girl, her family and the community as a whole.
• Martyrs: Basic definition of
Martyrs are only those who are killed when they fight for Allah's cause with pure and total devotion. Such martyrs, as we learn, are alive, enjoying all the characteristics of life. They are "provided for" by their Lord, and they are jubilant at what Allah bestows on them of His bounty, and they rejoice at what they learn of the destiny of the believers they had left behind, and they are aware of the events that take place here in our world. All these are characteristics of the living: enjoyment, jubilation, being concerned, influencing events and being influenced. Why should anyone then grieve for parting with them when they are still alive and they have their ties with the living and with events?
"Do not think of those who are killed in the cause of Allah as dead. Indeed, they are living in the presence of their Lord and are well provided for. Jubilant are they because of what Allah has bestowed on them of His bounty, and rejoicing at the happy news that those who have not joined them, but are left behind, shall have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. They rejoice at the glad tiding of Allah's grace and bounty and that Allah will not allow the reward of the believers to be lost. "- The House of Imran, Aal Imran : 3; 169-171 ]