I have known a colleague for several years and I am keen to be married to her. My parents, however, object to this marriage on the grounds that she works as a nurse in a hospital here in Saudi Arabia. Since my family enjoys a good reputation, they do not like my proposed marriage. Kindly advise.
I am afraid your family is taking a wrong attitude, which Islam does not accept. They are basing their objection to your marriage not on any fault they find with the girl herself, but on her profession. Even then, this profession is not what they make it to be. Even at the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, women worked as nurses. We know, for example, that Rufaidah bint Al Harith, a woman companion of the Prophet, peace be upon him, established a tent clinic where she nursed some Muslim soldiers wounded in battle, and that Sa’ad ibn Mu’ath, a leader of the Ansar, was her best known patient. It was during the siege of the Jewish tribe of Quraish that this took place. The Prophet, peace be upon him, himself was the one who asked the Aws, Sa’ad’s tribe, to have this tent clinic for Sa’ad so that he could visit him whenever the situation allowed. Nursing, then, is a highly respectable profession. Otherwise, the Prophet, peace be upon him, would not have approved of it.
Now if you are certain that this woman you wish to marry is of strong faith, and has sound moral values, then you should make a better effort to persuade your family to accept her. It is better not to start a marriage with friction within one’s family. You should try to make your parents realize that they are not really objecting to the woman’s personality or to anything wrong with her, but to her work, which is honorable, useful and provides a good service to the community. You may ask them if anyone in the family needs to be hospitalized who would be looking after that patient. Would that nurse be called a bad person for looking after the patient? To say so is far from reasonable. ~
Is it forbidden to celebrate birthdays? Are women allowed to visit Muslim graveyards? What if they have to pass through non-Muslim graves to reach there?
It is not forbidden to celebrate birthdays, of children or adults. What is forbidden is to imitate non-Muslims in their habits and traditions. If the celebration is intended as copying the way of life of non-Muslims, it is forbidden. If it is intended only as an occasion to express joy and happiness, and may be an informal way of understanding, it is appropriate.
Visiting graveyards is recommended as a way to remind us of death and the Hereafter. This is something both men and women need in equal measure. Hence, scholars say that it is perfectly permissible for women to visit graveyards, provided that they do not wail. If it is necessary to go through a Christian graveyard in order to reach the Muslim part that is appropriate. A Muslim should show respect when he passes through a non-Muslim graveyard. A funeral passed by the Prophet, peace be upon him, and he stood up. He was told that it was the funeral of a Jew. He answered: “Was he not a human being?” ~
People suggest that it is necessary to give a celebration when a wife is 5-7 months pregnant. They say that if one does not give a party during this period, the child will be unhappy. Please comment. May I also ask what should a husband do when his wife is pregnant
There is nothing in Islam or Islamic social tradition to suggest that there should be any function or celebration during pregnancy. I suppose those people who insist on such a celebration are only conforming to social traditions [from the West]. But this tradition is not an Islamic one. It must have its roots in the culture of your society, and I understand Muslims are in minority there.
A husband should be very supportive of his wife during pregnancy, particularly in our time when society is based on nucleus family. A woman goes through some very difficult periods in her pregnancy. Therefore, her husband should help in every way he can. May I remind you of the Hadith, which tells of the Prophet’s behavior at home. When his wife, Ayesha was asked about this, she answered: “He would patch up his robe, mend his shoes and attend to all his household needs.” Husbands should follow the Prophet’s example and give their wives maximum support.